A Crocus in Snow

Today was the day. I wait anxiously for this day every winter. The day where I see a crocus coming up in the snow. What courage! What faith! What trust! I think about how I would like to be more like the crocus. Now... before you laugh at me think of this. A crocus does not fret or stew while trying to come up through the icy snow. The crocus does not wonder if spring will really come. The crocus does not worry if the sun will do it's job. There is no struggle, there is no angst just total and complete faith. The crocus comes up through the snow effortlessly, more snow will fall and yet it will still bloom. This amazes me. This demonstrates to me what it looks like to completely surrender and trust God. Everything will be okay. Even if I put myself out there and a storm comes I will still be okay. Yes, I would like to become like a crocus. This image has always been so powerful for me. I remember looking for this sign of spring while waiting for the school bus. I would be doubly excited knowing that winter was loosening it's grip as well as knowing this beautiful sight also meant my birthday was approaching. I love and have always loved my birthday. April 8. Just love the way it sounds. April 8. There was a cartoon called Grape Ape when I was little and I use to think Grape Ape April 8. That always made me smile and still does. April 8 Grape Ape. What can I say..... it doesn't take much to amuse me. I grabbed my camera pretty quickly after waking up this morning. I just had a feeling this would be the day. Sure enough, it was. Moving on to something less exciting but still important I must make a confession on this entry that I am feeling really messed up about not putting up a post every day this past week. I am struggling now with how much to even say about it. As my latest mentor, Bill Harris would say..."let everything that happens be okay." So that is what I am doing. It just is what it is. I will resisit the urge to over analyze myself or shame myself or wonder what others may be thinking of me. I am seeing more and more that a huge part of this journey is for me to explore what it looks like for me to be committed to my creativity no matter what. It is so easy to let so called life keep us from what is truly important to us. I have always been blessed with a high sense of my own mortality. This use to worry me and I use to consider it a curse. I realize now that it is truly a gift to be in tune with the fact that this life does not just go on and on and on. My physical body will change form and my time as Kimberly will be over at some point. When you are aware of this it really helps you to think about your choices. How you spend your time and who you spend it with. What is most important to you day in and day out. I sometimes think of us as each receiving a bag with slips of paper in it on our "birth" day. Each slip representing a day of our lives. No matter what we think of the day we have to give up the slip of paper at the end of the day. We can't just say "this was a bad day I don't want it to count as one of my days". Nope...doesn't work that way. We can certainly go through life in a mediocre way with mediocre jobs, friends, homes and bodies or we can play with this infinite power that we posess. I think it is true what Nelson Mandela said about it being our light we our most afraid of. I say ENOUGH!!!!!!!! Remember the beautiful song we all sang in preschool.... "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine". We all believed this. There is no 3 year old that doesn't believe in the power of their light. Close your eyes and think back to your little self and feel that feeling knowing that you had a light and you were going to shine it. You were just like the crocus. No doubt, no fear...only trust. Somewhere you had to learn to put out your light because that is just not natural. Make it your mission to find your light and shine it as brightly as you possibly can. Your dreams are waiting for you to make them come true.

Shining my light,
Kimberly

Quote of the Day: "What you are seeking is also seeking you." unknown