Long time no post!

Hello to all - I can't believe how much time has passed since I wrote last. I think I got a little freaked out that either nobody was reading or a lot of people were reading it and either way it freaked my freak. Thanks to the cousin of a dear friend who took the time to write me an email and encourage me. I have decided to post again tonight -thanks Dusi. I am finding God all the time in every moment and can honestly say that I finally have an understanding of what people mean when they say "a personal relationship with God". I never got that until now. I spent a lot of time running from the Sky Daddy version of God that I grew up with and I had to take a big long break from that to come back and really understand what it means to have a daily, ongoing relationship with something greater than myself. I choose to call it God because I really like the word and feel comfortable with it but I totally get that it can be a loaded word for some people. Call it what you will - as Marianne Williamson says - we should not debate about what to call "it". The greatest thing for me today was my young daughter crying while I was on an important call and her brother and sister trying to get her to sleep. They tried to comfort her but to no avail. When I came in the bedroom she just collasped on my chest and took a deep breath and fell fast asleep. I just held her and kissed her and loved on her and could feel the trust and the bond that we have built together since she came to me from her orphanage six months ago. Someone said to me yesterday in a warning kind of way that I should be prepared because her experience with rescued animals was that they are very different than animals who have been properly nurtured since birth. I wasn't sure if I should be offended that she was insinuating that Lilly was like an SPCA dog or that she was already planning out future troubles for my daughter and I. I just smiled and sorted this out silently in my mind. I have finally learned to say nothing when I don't know what to say, it is so much easier and much less exhausting. What I would say now if the moment were here again is that I believe the answer is always love. I don't care what the problem is or what the question is. The answer is love and more love. I know that loving Lilly is the greatest blessing not only for her but for me. It is with love that we all thrive. It is love that makes the world go 'round not little pieces of green paper with dead presidents printed on them or little round pieces of metal. I have no idea how Lilly will process her journey as she comes to know about her birth family but for me the answer is still love. It may be incredibly painful for her or she may accept it easily. Either way she is loved and her birth mother loved her more than anyone. Whatever her circumstance she knew she could not raise this precious baby and she gave the ultimate sacrifice - her child. Lilly is a child of the universe and I believe her soul made an agreement, as did mine, as did her birth mother's and we are all part of a greater plan. I am thinking of the lyrics to the song..........what the world needs now is love, sweet, love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of...........Go tell someone you love them, see who God sends your way to give love to - the grumpy gas station attendant, the driver in front of you who is going too slow, your teenager who just won't take no for an answer........just do the opposite of what you might be tempted to do. All I'm saying is give love a try. Everyone being wants to be loved. Remember that as you go out in your day and see how it changes your whole perspective of everyone you pass on the street or interact with.

Thanks Dusi for reminding me how much I love to write and thanks for reading!

Kimberly

Quote of the Day: "An authentic life is the most personal form of worship."

Sarah Ban Breathnach